Parental Involvement

This past week I had a meeting which had been requested by a parent. Ordinarily, this would not have phased me the least, however she requested that it be with an administrator, which even as a veteran teacher sets off an alarm in my head. Her child, one who I actually am quite fond of, is also a handful and requires a great deal of attention. The fact that I have gone out of my way to provide an environment which this student requires to be successful and was now being "called out" by the parent made me sick to my stomach. I mean this student was having major issues in all of her classes and I was about to be dragged under the bus for her behaviors! To make matters worse, the meeting was delayed for almost two weeks as the result of scheduling conflicts! I must admit, I went into the meeting ready to tell it like it was and defend myself. I brought with me my pre-typed notes, highly organized into categories such as behaviors seen, triggers, accommodations made, etc. There was no way that this parent was going to light into me without a valid reason!

The morning of the meeting came and of course as life goes I was running behind with the morning routine of getting my own three children ready, dropping them off at daycare and school and arriving at school early enough to have a moment to breathe before the anticipated dread. As I walked into the vice-principal's office, I felt like the student summoned to the office knowing that nothing good could result from the visit. My countless hours of worrying and preparation could not fail me..... or could they! Well, in a way they did. The mother conveyed her stance on how school had been going for her daughter by explaining my role in the issues which had been going. Apparently, her daughter loves me and has a strong bond to me which provides her with a comfort level which results in me receiving the brunt of her frustration and bad moods similar to the level which mom experienced at home. Mom wanted to meet with myself and administration to acknowledge that I have gone above and beyond to help her daughter, to convey her thanks and reinforce to her daughter the consequences for her actions during the school day. Wow! Did I ever feel like an idiot!

Unfortunately, every teacher has a parent of two every year who continually blames the teacher for their child's lack of academic success and/or behavior. Parents such as these, who fail to place any responsibility on their own children, can lead to a weariness on the part of a teacher to engage with parents. After the meeting, I thought about this; most parents really do want the best for their children and it is important for teachers to step back and remind themselves that interactions with parents are typically pleasant and that a few negative encounters should not skew your sense of these interactions. As a parent whose oldest is in Kindergarten, I try to remind myself that there may be occasions when I may not agree with something which is occurring in the classroom, but that without the teacher's viewpoint and reasoning, I should not make a final decision. I will always try to be a pleasant parent who does not cause additional stress to the teachers whom my children will be fortunate enough to have!